Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
