I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
