is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize