she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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