He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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