Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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