I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Use "feeling words"
Yay
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
