Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
