i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
