David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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