You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
