You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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