yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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