Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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