she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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