those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
