people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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