I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
