i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
