the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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