When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
