he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
