the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
