i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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