Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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