If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Its about making memories worth repressing
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
