he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
