I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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