nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
