I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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