She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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