I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
