We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
