brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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