hotel room ftw
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
