No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
