Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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