Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
His hands were made for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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