I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Randomize
