hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man