Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.