Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
