ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
