Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
