I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
