I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
