Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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