i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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