So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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