Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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