we're chasing vodka with high fives
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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