You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
