It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Randomize
