Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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