Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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