Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
