bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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