At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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