My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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