Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Let's get the cat blown out
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
