Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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