What a fucking waste of an outfit
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.