Texts From Last Night

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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus

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  (218): No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus http://tfl.nu/il4r
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.

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  (931): Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight. http://tfl.nu/ee6d
  Replies (5) Good night (2004) Bad night (611) Order T-Shirt
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?

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  (865): you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him? http://tfl.nu/jkhm
  Replies (5) Good night (726) Bad night (3437) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.

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  (214): You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet. http://tfl.nu/ajf1
  Replies (23) Good night (7337) Bad night (885)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?

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  (617): it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right? http://tfl.nu/n56d
  Replies (10) Good night (4393) Bad night (1525) Order T-Shirt
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.

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  (662): I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high. http://tfl.nu/4f4j
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Umm you met him three days ago....

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I said what I said

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  (267): We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for (215): Umm you met him three days ago.... (267): I said what I said http://tfl.nu/18h0
  Replies (30) Good night (7340) Bad night (1398)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express

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  (479): there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express http://tfl.nu/hlsi
  Replies (3) Good night (3093) Bad night (762) Order T-Shirt
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  (714): View more from California

  IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX

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  (714): IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX http://tfl.nu/wmyf
  Replies (12) Good night (2211) Bad night (1102) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.

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  (402): At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar. http://tfl.nu/wx7w
  Replies (3) Good night (1299) Bad night (507) Order T-Shirt
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.

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  (403): But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though. http://tfl.nu/bq7u
  Replies (10) Good night (879) Bad night (534) Order T-Shirt
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  (916): View more from California

  Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home

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  (916): Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home http://tfl.nu/dlwc
  Replies (3) Good night (558) Bad night (1555)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.

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  (724): NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside. http://tfl.nu/mev5
  Replies (3) Good night (622) Bad night (331) Order T-Shirt
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"

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  (573): He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut" http://tfl.nu/oeuu
  Replies (3) Good night (1072) Bad night (351) Order T-Shirt
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  (530): View more from California

  that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.

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  (530): that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own. http://tfl.nu/8cpw
  Replies (1) Good night (546) Bad night (443) Order T-Shirt

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