I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
