Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass