Texts From Last Night

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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.

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  (630): Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes. http://tfl.nu/1voe
  Replies (7) Good night (716) Bad night (2048)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.

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  (573): Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life. http://tfl.nu/evuh
  Replies (24) Good night (7326) Bad night (1107)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.

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  (847): I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand. http://tfl.nu/1517
  Replies (6) Good night (2860) Bad night (913)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.

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  (740): your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head. http://tfl.nu/v5j8
  Replies (13) Good night (1096) Bad night (2105)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.

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  (307): Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory. http://tfl.nu/grsq
  Replies (5) Good night (1562) Bad night (733)
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  (951): View more from California

  We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.

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  (951): We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question. http://tfl.nu/23so
  Replies (13) Good night (1955) Bad night (689)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.

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  (304): He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away. http://tfl.nu/477o
  Replies (2) Good night (1287) Bad night (560)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers

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  (802): You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers http://tfl.nu/tkru
  Replies (6) Good night (1786) Bad night (420)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season

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  (601): I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season http://tfl.nu/0ij4
  Replies (7) Good night (524) Bad night (1339)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Somehow he made it really romantic

  (503): View more from Oregon

  He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.

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  (541): Somehow he made it really romantic (503): He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me. http://tfl.nu/2g7n
  Replies (7) Good night (1406) Bad night (808)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.

  (410): View more from Maryland

  By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!

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  (410): Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey. (410): By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey! http://tfl.nu/tmhf
  Replies (16) Good night (2533) Bad night (876)
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  (516): View more from New York

  sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day

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  (516): sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day http://tfl.nu/3ryn
  Replies (3) Good night (563) Bad night (851)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...

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  (+44): I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt... http://tfl.nu/1ly3
  Replies (1) Good night (684) Bad night (609)
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  (310): View more from California

  Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?

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  (310): Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year? http://tfl.nu/vjf5
  Replies (3) Good night (724) Bad night (394)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.

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  (301): First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives. http://tfl.nu/0sul
  Replies (0) Good night (448) Bad night (348)

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