I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Four minutes until I can fart!
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.