Texts From Last Night

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  (440): View more from Ohio

  wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant

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  (440): wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant http://tfl.nu/01g1
  Replies (54) Good night (1345) Bad night (15740)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."

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  (901): i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight." http://tfl.nu/7ug8
  Replies (29) Good night (4226) Bad night (881)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"

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  (440): I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!" http://tfl.nu/07u8
  Replies (21) Good night (6645) Bad night (841)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.

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  (403): Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing. http://tfl.nu/jg9n
  Replies (22) Good night (3508) Bad night (1126)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave

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  (203): he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave http://tfl.nu/v07m
  Replies (45) Good night (5556) Bad night (802)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now

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  (306): We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now http://tfl.nu/pjjq
  Replies (23) Good night (3809) Bad night (729)
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  (478): View more from Georgia

  how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?

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  (478): how did he go about obtaining bull sperm? http://tfl.nu/if4u
  Replies (12) Good night (1093) Bad night (3386)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.

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  (201): He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away. http://tfl.nu/tzcp
  Replies (13) Good night (889) Bad night (4467)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.

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  (404): What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs. http://tfl.nu/w7nv
  Replies (18) Good night (4545) Bad night (1159)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.

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  (616): Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed. http://tfl.nu/ew4t
  Replies (17) Good night (885) Bad night (3996)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that

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  (225): I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that http://tfl.nu/lb4l
  Replies (13) Good night (2555) Bad night (960)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.

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  (425): Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me. http://tfl.nu/5m5h
  Replies (2) Good night (963) Bad night (627)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid

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  (609): i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid http://tfl.nu/4631
  Replies (3) Good night (226) Bad night (634)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.

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  (405): ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction. http://tfl.nu/wfsg
  Replies (1) Good night (178) Bad night (413)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse

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  (773): It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse http://tfl.nu/hj9m
  Replies (3) Good night (479) Bad night (312)

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