My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
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I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
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Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Randomize
