I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?