Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
PANTIES FOUND
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
