you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
