fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
