What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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